unfocused on my resolution

At the beginning of this year I made a strong stand to do several things this year. My new years resolution list consisted of the following...
1) first and foremost I want to fit back into my size 3 jeans that I love. At this point I'm borderline size 7/8 which for my height means that I am obese. So, I need to lose 15 to 25 pounds.
2) read 24 books, mostly classics.
3) get an A in a science class

well since that A in a science class didn't happen and won't because I changed my major I really need to accomplish at least one of my many goals.
I am most depressed about the first resolution. I don't know or understand why i feel the need to eat more that i ever want and tend to always feel sick after I eat.

I'm really a very small person and could be more that satisfied with child portions of food but always have huge cravings. When I was younger I would watch my mom diet and wonder why it was so hard for her. Now, even though I realize food is not love it seems to always call to me.
I wish I had more will power. I don't know where my ambition and hard working ethic went.
All I know is that I have got to get motivated because my weight gain is really starting to bother me and I can't keep blaming it on birth control because even though it probably started it I didn't stop it in its tracks.

For shame on me for judging my mom and other overweight people for not being able to control themselves when i find my self with the same problem.

man i wish i hated food and could make myself throw up (j/k ...kind of)