Growing Up

I have grown so much in the past few years, but really it has been the last few months that have really shaped me to who I know I will become. It is the hard times that you go through that determine who you are, that and how you deal with them. At first I cried everyday, I got depressed, I lost weight, and I whined. That was the beginning. Now I have reached a healthy place. I have realized that whatever happens I have to move forward. I have to continue to live my life no matter who is in it or who is not. I have come to the conclusion that I am worthy of only great things because I have only the most committed love and honestly to offer whoever I love. I have realized that nothing I do is worthy of praise. Only God is worthy of praise and he and he alone got me through this great ordeal in my life. God is who I will follow and God is towhom I gave my life. With all of this said, I am here to say that my life is still hard. I am still dealing with alot of loss and heartache, I am still dealing with the drastic change my life has taken as far as my education was going and whatever future career I was going to have, and finally now I am dealing with a deep debt with rent and possible eviction. Years ago, as only Josh can vouch, I would have freaked out with all of this upon my shoulders. I would have cried and thrown my hands up saying i am doomed and there is no way out. I would have flipped especially with the potential eviction. Now I can proudly say I am not fretting about any of it, I know one way or another I will get through it, if I don't get through it than God will find another way. There are only two options in life. 1) to life with what comes at you. 2) to kill yourself/give up/roll over and die. Those are the only two events that can occur, living or not living. I will always choose to live therefore I will not worry about the way in which I get through the hard times i will just hold fast to the FACT that I will get through them. I have been able to forgive more than i could ever thought I was capable. I have been able to survive what I never thought I could or would even want to survive. Here I stand and here I will continue to stand.