I am done.

I cried tonight stronger/harder/ more powerfully than I ever have in my life. I am certain of this fact.
I was shaking and I still am.
I think Josh and that girl are having sex.
I can't believe it.
It hurts too bad that he would do something like that.
I knew it was the next logical step after fooling around on the first date that they would have sex.
I just don't know how I am going to live with that knowledge.
I really need help.
I want to die.