I felt it.

For the skeptics.

I felt what love is. It maybe hard to explain every aspect of love but here is one.
I lay awake in his bed after being disappointed from doing nothing but sleep. All I can think is what he has done with this other girl who is so much better than me. I feel the tears mount. I turn over so he can't see or hear me. suddenly he turns over and puts his arms around me. He holds me as close as he can. I can feel my whole body tingle like having butterflies all over your body, not just in your stomach. He kissed the back of my neck. He wanted to know what was wrong. He can almost always sense when i am upset. I couldn't explain then and I didn't want to explain.
It's getting repetitive.
The same explanations as to why I am upset. It never changes.
Anyway, then and there I felt Love. I felt my love for him. It of course wasn't the first time I have felt love. Every time he holds my hand on a road trip, every time he hugs me or kisses me.
This is very bothersome that I can still feel that love even though he could be doing the same things with this other girl.
This is when my mind wonders. When I think about this other girl which is alot. I wonder if she knows how lucky she is that he wants to spend time with her. I wonder if she is falling for him. I wonder how much he really likes her as opposed to what he says which is I am thinking too much into it.
I wonder if when he is holding me he is thinking about holding her.
I know it is normal for people to have more than one sexual partner in their lifetime. I however could not deal with them doing that. I am not even dealing well with them doing everything but that.
My heart is aching because i felt love but it was a one way street.