how old am I?

I think it's time to start growing up a bit. I'm 21 years old and after knowing what I wanted out of life for the best 10 years I now have no clue what I want.
I need to get back to reality. This fantasy summer vacation is doing nothing for me. I'm not taking classes, not doing anything but working at taco bell and going on facebook. I've been enjoying some amazing vacations. Going here and there with friends and family. All the while I am putting off education and working at a real job. I'm also putting off the inevitable.
Maybe I am just a little depressed right now, maybe I feel a little lonely but I really feel the need to be loved right now. I am just not getting that.
Everyone thinks josh and I are a couple who don't know the whole story. I even still think of us as a couple sometimes.
i'm sorry I need to stop talking/writing/thinking about this situation. it's taking over my life. I can't stand this feeling.
I hate being this person. Corey is right in one aspect I'm a beautiful 21 year old woman and all I do is chase after someone who doesn't want me "RIGHT NOW". It seems a little crazy.
Maybe I'm crazy, maybe you're crazy.